Thursday, July 2, 2009

Hard Day, Hard week

For some reason, in the week that was supposed to be my restful because Stretch-N-Grow took off this week at many of our schools for the 4th of July. Unfortunately, everything just seemed to go wrong this week!

God has given me a gift to counsel. Anyone who knows me remotely (or my mother) will tell you I am the type that people, sometimes even complete strangers, will pour their heart out to. I find so much joy in this because I love people. Doesn't matter where they're from I just love sitting there listening and showing compassion because everyone hurts. Everyone goes through trials and sufferings and I love to help. Sometimes though, I can get a little overwhelmed. At times I bring it upon myself wanting to help anyone and everyone so I commit to too many things. Other times, Father asks me to get my hands dirty and messy and invest, and it's exhausting. After this week, I am literally exhausted in more ways than one. Sometimes I just get so tired of hearing about problems! I don't even have a degree yet, let alone a master's, and I already feel like I do this for a living. I see hurting kids in my daycares every single day. Father placed me in my classroom in Little Village and had me invest (which I take joy in) in one particular child and his family which involved me once again in CPS. This week though, it wasn't with my kids, it was with friends. I literally can't begin to tell you the amount of phone calls I received this week with upsetting news. Today alone, which was my one day where I didn't have to do any work at all and I was really looking forward to sleeping in, I ended up starting my day at 7 a.m. (worth it for the friend I had breakfast with :) and ended up meeting 4 different people today and got home in time to shower, go mentor, and I'm off again. This was not a day off. On top of that, I had another hard day with my girl at the Nelson Center. This first week we met was beautiful and broken at the same time. Last week our time was cut in half because she wouldn't listen and chose to cuss me out and throw some papers at me instead. Today, I got there and stayed a grand total of 15 minutes. We briefly talked about what happened last week, and I told her as she began to get an attitude that she had to listen to me like she listens to her staff, to which she replied, "I never listen to them." Which at times is very true. Then the next words out of her mouth were, "I don't want to see you today." So I said ok, well I love coming to see you and hang out with you every week. I'm here for you to get away and have fun and be able to vent if you need to and I love doing that. So, you have a choice. I am coming back every week, even if you don't want to see me, I'll be here because I want to be and I enjoy seeing you. But if you want to go back to the unit, then you can go back. And if you don't want a mentor, you can tell Miss Rebekah. So we sat in awkward silence for a few minutes, and she said, "I want to go back to the unit. This is boring. I don't want to do anything and I don't want to see you." So I took her up to the front so staff could take her back. She left with an attitude and me saying, "I'll be here next week and I hope it's better next time." The girls are SO much harder to mentor than the boys. Talk about getting messy...that's the least I could say. She has been one of the hardest girls so far. But I have to keep coming because I love her. And she NEEDS consistency. She NEEDS unconditional love. She NEEDS to see that even when she makes mistakes and acts a fool, I'll still be there. I'll still love her. The last girl I mentored even asked me that on the first day I met her, "If I mess up, are you going to come back or are you going to leave me?" I told her it doesn't matter what she does, I'll be there. "Will you still love me?" was her next question. I will never ever forget that. Pray for her. Pray our time together goes well next week.

But exciting news is I got a mentor!! I love her and we've only met 2 times, but she is AMAZING. It is so nice to have someone pour into me and disciple me. Our time together has been SO encouraging. When I'm with her it's like I can't stop talking I have so much to tell her and ask for her to walk with me in. She's been so great and I'm excited to see how Father is going to use her in my life. Well, that's all. It's just been a hard week. But I'm so excited to go home tomorrow and relax and see my family! Happy 4th everyone!

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